December 2019 "A Year in Review"

𝔻𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟡

      A year in review

"Pitty Party... Might be a long one, that's what she said 😏"

          Where do I even begin? So much has happened this year, its hard to find a place to start. I mean I started this blog to document our struggles so I can look back one day and be proud of us!

          I had such high hopes for 2019 and from the very beginning we were scrapping to survive... This time last year, Quinn and I were getting ready to go on a week long trip to Washington D.C. We couldn't be more excited! We hadn't taken a vacation in over a year and were desperate to get away and to get that couples refresh we had always done years past. We did pay for the vacation we were planning on taking (couldn't get a refund)... but we also were blessed with MORE MEDICAL BILLS... YAY!! We were absolutely thrilled!.... Fast forward to January 6th... rushing Quinn to the hospital because he couldn't breath and was turning purple... Congratulations! Your husband has type 1 diabetes, not type 2. Quinn got a wonderfully relaxing weekend stay at the ICU in Sandy, and I was blessed to stay with Quinn's uncle (with our two dogs) until Quinn could be released.

         Being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at age 35 was devastation to Quinn. His whole life he was extremely active and usually very healthy, but when you pickle your pancreas with Alcohol, your body has other plans on how to keep you alive. He went through months of denial... 3 months of fighting with him to take his insulin, keep me in the loop with his blood sugars, as we both are trying to learn how to make this work, we finally hit a break through around month 4 when he was starting to feel more like himself and had gained back the 20 lbs he has lost in under a month BEFORE the emergency hospital visit. However, with this high, comes many lows... He wanted to be active like he use to but his body wasn't ready for it. So many bruises, so much fatigue, so much disappointment in himself. It was a dark and dreary first few months of the year. Each week got better and better as his sugars levels got under control.

        A good distraction was definitely house work. We accomplished way more then we expected we would. We re-built our deck (with the help of Quinn's college buddy) even added an addition 3 feet to it! (WIN) we started the garden, (WIN) and we re-did the side entry way flooring to the house (WIN) its about time we got a few wins! I bought and refurbished a whole piano!! But of course once we finally get a bit of a high, obviously things need to come crashing down just to bring us back to the ground again... We finally were able to get Cassie's cyst removed, which was so relieving, but we were not prepared for the complications she would have afterwords....

      We were financially in a place that we could definitely get it taken care of and it was getting to a point that it was life threatening for us not to get it taken off, (thanks to Loki continually biting it... 😡😡) so we went through with it during a time I could be home with her to keep an eye on her. Everything was going great... until a week later. Her ears were swelling dramatically and it was moving to her face. I was able to get her in for an emergency appointment, and at first they weren't sure what was wrong with her, and then we found out that she had gotten a major yeast infection in her ears from the antibiotics for the surgery. So what we expecting financially... ended up being almost triple what we had originally budgeted for.... I do not know how we managed to do all that we did this year and not have to file bankruptcy, or rely on credit cards. in fact its been quite the opposite. Yes we haven't had a vacation, or "break from life" in almost two years now, but we haven't had to take out any loans, we haven't touched our credit cards, we are somehow surviving...

     With how painful and stressful and depressing our year has been... So much good has come from our trials. God has watched over us in ways I can't explain. One major way would definitely be the financial part. We will probably always struggle now that we are paying for a lot of extra medical upkeep, but we are finally seeing a light at the end of our scary tunnel. Another major was is through my career. The school that I work at has absolutely the most amazing administration I could ever ask to work with! I always feel supported and always receive the best feedback.

     With all of this happening this year, I decided it was time for me to get serious about our future as a family. My body has never been normal and has been very difficult to understand. We have been getting a lot of pressure this year about babies, and when will we have them, why haven't we already had any... after 5 years of marriage (in March 2020) I understand the need to ask, but I also didn't think it was anyone's business. Although Quinn and I are still in the head space of wanting and enjoying our freedom (even more so after this year) I want to know what I am working with (to put it nicely) if and when we do decide to take that leap. I really have no words for how I feel about the situation. I have never been one to think that being a mother is something I was interested in. After marrying Quinn, the idea has definitely been more appealing, but I always go back to my original mentality, which is that parenting scares the 💩 out of me! So before going to the doctors, I decided in July I was going to start getting serious about my health. I have been dedicated to the gym for 6 months now, been on a strict food lifestyle change, and have actually been taking vitamins religiously including prenatals. Just this alone has made me more confident in myself and I can feel how much healthier I have become. As for tests and other things, I won't be able to get a full analysis of my situation until after January 10th. Apparently women's clinics are basically booked out a month in advance... so I am sure I will have an update on that in next months post.

     There are so many things I could write about, having a break through artistically, my hair being the longest its even been in 7 years! Quinn getting encouraged to apply for a position in St. George! But I won't bore you with any of those details. I am however excited to spend this new years eve night with Quinn reading a letter I wrote myself the year we married (5 years ago) and think I will continue the tradition, every 5 years. Next year is going to be full of surprises, trials, ups and downs and much much more I am sure of it, but as long as Quinn and I keep working as the team we have developed into, it will be adventurous!🙌

Thank you 2019 for teaching me so much. Happy New Year, and good luck 2020.